He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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