he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize