I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I can't turn off my feet"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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