I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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