but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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