We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Mom said you looked used
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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