Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
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