Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
