i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize