it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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