i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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