Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
