yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
