Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just high enough for therapy.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
