He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
