I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
