ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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