He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
