he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Randomize
