I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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