girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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