Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
