so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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