i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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