I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize