hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
