No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
