So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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