There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
