Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You can't special order awesome
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
So much Jack, so little girl.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
