Soap is not a condiment
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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