Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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