i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
