break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
