Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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