I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
where does the pee come out of this thing
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
