what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
