There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
