I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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