I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
