I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
