I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
