Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
MIDGETS
????
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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