Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
