I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
