I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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