Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize