Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
