dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
