i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
