I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
