I accidentally had phone sex last night
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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