She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
