You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Randomize
