youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
