A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
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