i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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