Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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