my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
