And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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