I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Randomize