that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
