Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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