so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
