oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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