Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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