she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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