I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
