I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
