no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
