4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
