Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
